Sunday, December 28, 2008

Commercial complaint #1: Jared

The elections long over, we have since been inundated with commercials advertising all those things we just have to have (or worse, have to buy for someone else) in order to live happy, fulfilled lives. But it is time for us to protest, especially in this economy, commercials that are worse and more dangerous than even the lies politicians spend millions spreading. I start with those for Jared the Galleria of Jewelry.

The Jared commercials hinge on one phrase: “He went to Jared’s.” This is repeated until it is rolling around in your head like a song your teenage daughter plays so loud, her bedroom door cannot stop it. And like such a song, you can’t avoid it or its message.

I wouldn’t mind these commercials so much if they operated on that time honored bit of fallacious reasoning so often used commercials: that the brand or store or item is so high class, and everyone should want it. That faulty reasoning is bad enough, but easy to see through.

No. These commercials all have a woman saying the line as if Jared’s is only place a man better go to make the love of his life happy. If a man gets any other present at any other place, then he is a terrible husband/boyfriend/father. Nay, he is an awful human being and deserves nothing but scorn.

Many of these commercials feature some oaf of a man who presumably has not gone to Jared's. Now this man’s wife will not speak to him. His girlfriend looks at him as she has just caught him molesting children. The man usually looks sheepish and foolish, as if one could not expect anything from him but a combination of ignorance and evil.

Commercials for this store have grated on my nerves a long time. When I first saw them, I told myself that if I was ever rich enough to buy my wife a lot of jewelry, I’d never go into a store with that sort of commercial. Now I believe these spots are irresponsible in this economy. This year, Christmas buying was down quite a bit, as people have to think about feeding their families and purchasing medication and making their house payments, instead of buying cars and jewelry and high end toys.

But no matter what the economy is like, I wish no one would buy products from such a place that continues the metaphorical castration of the American male.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This is great! My friend and I were talking about this exact issue a few weeks ago as we drove around Arlington. We came to the conclusion that if we ever need to buy jewelry for a female, we would NOT buy at Jared.

Also, I have always been a fan of Best Buy. The store has been very successful over the years, proving to be better all around than other stores such as Ultimate Electronics and Circuit City. They have some really killer sales often too. However, I am considering ceasing my alliance because of their most recent ad slogan, "You, Happier." Seriously? They are blatant in who they are trying to wrangle - most likely, weak-minded individuals who probably can't control their spending in direct reflection of their lack of mental control and self-respect, especially after being told they will be happier after spending money at Best Buy. And another good piece of evidence supporting this wrangling: About one month ago, everyone, and their uncle, was hearing finally that credit/debt is a large factor in the downturn of our economy. I walked in to Best Buy, I was going to price laptops for next semester, and before the door greeter could say "Welcome to Best Buy," another employee spoke up saying, "Would you like to apply for a Best Buy credit card? Twenty-four months no interest on purchases $999 and up!" I walked right back out. C'mon Best Buy... -Kavon