A Man of a Certain Rage

Everyday I see more and more evidence that television is not supposed to be for people like me. And by "like me," I mean old enough to remember days when people would write about the Kardashians on bathroom walls instead of in tabloids. As I try to make my way through the middle of summer, I am going to get my crotchety old man on. So turn down your music, pay attention, and stay off my lawn.

Am I the only person who is annoyed by that fake cowboy in the 5-Hour Energy commercials? And by "annoyed," I mean I wanna crush his hat and make him cry so he'll go away. These commercials have two guys (no women) who are smiling and drinking coffee, and Sheriff Stick In The Mud comes in and starts riding them about how coffee will only give them energy for about 45 minutes. Doesn't that guy know that we don't drink coffee for energy? We drink coffee to wake up. We drink coffee because it's cool. We drink coffee because it is part of a social ritual. Have you ever been at work and had someone say, "I'm going to take a 5-hour energy break. Want me to bring you back some?" Any guy ever ask a girl out to a cozy cafe for an "energy shot"? I don't think so.

I do like and admire Abby Wambach. But I have to take her to task for her recent Gatorade commercial. In it, players are coming off the field at halftime of a soccer game. She has this interior monologue where she says this woman "is easy to spot," and the camera shows us an opposing player who is clearly exhausted. During her speech we see the opponent drinking water (gasp!) and Wambach drinking Gatorade. At the height of the monologue, Wambach says, "She's also easy to break." Then we see Wambach shredding defenders and making the other team look like they are stuck in mud. Thanks a lot, Abby! Why not undo any progress we parents have made in getting our kids to be healthy. Way to make it even harder for youth soccer coaches to get their kids to drink water during games instead of sugar filled sports drinks that taste better, but only give kids a ten-minute rush.

And speaking of girls soccer, I watched an interview with speedy Alex Morgan before a friendly between the U.S. Women and Canada. Off the camera there were several young girls watching the talented player,and the interviewer remarked about them and asked questions about being a role model to young girls. And I wondered, why can't she be a role model to young boys too? Why must role modeling be gender specific?

The fact is I have not gotten over the cancellation of two of my favorite shows. Men of a Certain Age was one of the smartest, funniest shows I'd seen in years, and I guess because I happen to be in the age group of the main characters, I  found myself identifying with them. Mostly, I enjoyed the dialogue between the characters, remembering all those breakfasts and lunches of serious hilarity. Okay, the show had low ratings, but it shouldn't have. It won a Peabody and had two Emmy nominations in only two seasons. Curse you, numbers, for you have foiled me again!

And then I find out that another favorite, Harry's Law, has been cancelled as well. Here is a show that actually did have high Nielsen ratings, but not in the 18-49 demographic, so it got axed. I can't figure this out. The show does well, but not with the right people? Why didn't dull stupid Matlock suffer the same fate? Harry's Law dealt with interesting and timely issues, had good drama counterpointed with excellent humor, quirky and thoughtful characters. It was well-written and well-acted. It starred Kathy Freaking Bates! But no, it had to go, I guess because it didn't sell enough acne cream or hot pants to the Bieber crowd.

Sigh. I guess I should resign myself to the fact that if I like something it is not going to last long. (Don't tell the people at CBS that I like Big Bang Theory or The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson.) And complaining about it has gotten me tired. So I'm taking a nap. Wake me up when my stories are on.