Monday, September 27, 2010

Commercial Complaint #3: Zoosk

Ads for online dating services tend to bug me anyway, but in my best moments, I’d like to think that the use of technology to find love isn’t always a bad thing. For the website Zoosk, however, dating is not at all about love. Clearly it is about sex, disguised a women’s fantasy/romance. Watch any of the ads closely and you’ll see that the women hovering around the laptop are not only dreaming of that perfect romantic sexual partner, but also expecting the guy to do all the work of making that romantic magic happen. As offensive as that should be to both men and women, I’ve tried to just turn off the cranky old man in my brain and say “to each his own.”
One of their ads caught my attention recently, however, and I just couldn’t let it go. In this ad, a woman has been set up on a blind date. The guy comes over and seems okay. She has him eat something while she appears to get something from another part of house or apartment. Her giant dog then crawls on top of him. Then a cat jumps on the couch and it is clear he is allergic. All this time, by the way, the guy is polite.
When the woman reenters, he asks, “Is this shellfish?” and she sees his bloated, red face. The man clearly is allergic, but her reaction is horror. In the next scene, she tells her friends, “I think I’ll stick to Zoosk for all my dating.” And the other women nod and murmur agreement.

So let me get this straight. The experience was bad for HER because the guy with allergies had the gall to come into her house and be allergic to animals that she doesn’t take any time to corral and the food she didn’t bother to ask about? It must be HIS fault that his face looked like Jimmy Glick on steroids. Maybe it is Mom’s fault for not vetting the guy before setting her up. (After all, no part of dating is about getting to know someone for yourself; it is about your good time.)
Hey! Bitches like this should not be allowed to date. Don’t even get me started on their unrealistic expectations of men or romance. Women with these values sometimes actually procreate and then make tiny little bitches or take the balls off their male offspring with years of emotional abuse powered by their inevitable bitterness. Hey lady, grow up.


jeffrey said...

Your take on the Zoosk shellfish commercial was dead on. I just posted a link to your blog on my FB page.

Anonymous said...

That commercial was EXTREMELY funny!! You guys seriously need to not take life so frigg'n serious!
Having such a misogynistic view of a light-hearted dating commercial which should have made you laugh, instead turned you into a babbling idiot!