Okay, I changed my mind. I went ahead and posted the poems. They need, perhaps a bit of work, and I would like to add some photos to some of them, but here they are:
"On Violence"
"To an unseen bird"
Chill
Enjoy!

Finally! I am (almost) caught up with grading. Has been a bit hectic, especially with the carpel tunel and having to write many of the responses by hand before typing them. Well, hectic isn't the word. Slow is. But going okay.

Have written three poems lately. Struggled with the sonnet, so I wrote a fifteen line poem with twelve syllable lines last Wednesday mostly during Alex's soccer practice. The tentative title is "Chill." Thursday or so I wrote a much freer piece, so far entitled "To an unseen bird." Some time (can't remember when) I finished a draft of the sonnet, right now called "On Violence." I probably should post these, but I think I would like to work on them a bit more. If nothing happens in a week or so, I may post them to the website.

Am looking forward to writing more this summer. I'm almost too anxious about it, worried that I won't be able to after all the planning.

Realized that two works, "Missing" and "Singing Each to Each," that were published in last year's The Alternative have been published on the Internet. I need to update this link on my publications page. For now, readers can link here.

Not a very productive weekend. Had to miss my doctor's appointment Friday, and then just couldn't get much going. I suppose I'm tired from the long week.

I did work on a sonnet. Wrote nine lines, eight I am happy with. Think I may want to write mostly sonnets for awhile.

Listening to King Crimson's new disc. Not sure what I think yet.

My writing is too fragmented these days. Need to be more disciplined about it. Do it at particular time or times of the day. Have noticed that just when I try to impose a sense of order on life (particularly writing, reading, prayer, exercise), something or someone gets in the way and I have to change the plans. This should not upset me, but it usually does. One of the keys to success in life is that one be flexible. But order is also important.

Have been thinking of a series of essays and prose poems that might take advantage of this fragmentation. Just getting down the time to write...sigh. Why complain? I often waste the time I have to do just that.

"Guess we'll repeat the chorus" (King Crimson).

...ok. I have written a couple of haiku and a poem called "Love/Work/War". Yesterday jotted a few lines the could be the lyric for a song. Something about guilt and cutting off hands and all. Who knows what will come of that?

Now, I have to wear splints at night for the carpal (sp?) tunnel. That's with the C-PAP machine. I probably look like some kind of creature all hooked up. Have to get home. More in the morning I hope.

Well, I haven't done too much writing lately. Maybe I've been too busy catching up with grading papers and tests and whatnot (It's always the whatnot that gets in the way.). I suppose I've jotted down a thing or two. Have to check....

Craziness. Too much to do and far too little time. And no matter what, I always find people upset that I didn't drop the freaking world for them.

Have posted a new poem, "Obelus."

Trying to pick some poems with a Texana theme for the Arts Exposition. I think my friend and colleague Bob Erwin will actually read them/it.

Trying to be better organized. Not terribly motivated.

Wow! It seems like ages since I blogged. School and work and life just seem to be a bit hectic right now. The semester is going fine, but I'm still catching up on some things, and haven't had much chance to write.

Have posted an essay, "Constructing Nature." Keep wondering about my essays and publication. I have recently had a lot of ideas for essays and want to write several, but that just takes that much more time away from other writing.

Who am I kidding? If I am writing, I am happy. Must keep writing, no matter what the genre. I haven't even written much in my personal journal lately.

Got a rejection email from Amarillo Bay for my poems "Lamp," "To A Fleeing Hawk," "Going Hence," "Through The Drizzle," and "The Artist Still." Editor Jerry Craven did say he'd like to see more of my work, however, so that is very encouraging. Maybe it isn't true, but I reason that since editors are usually overloaded with writing they would rather not read, they must like something if they actually encourage you to submit again, even while they reject what you have already sent. Bottom line: I need to carve some time to find good pieces to submit. Just trying to get work published is a full time job, and I feel lucky if I can make one submission a week. With email and online submissions now possible in so many places, this should be a breeze, but alas, no.

Have posted a new essay to the website. Right now, it is titled "Pageants," but I would like to explore ideas for a different title. It is about not just Christmas, but the whole season for us. I enjoyed, to some extent, writing it, but I have no idea if it will have a place anywhere.

Also posted a new poem, a sonnet, about the war of words between politicians. When will people wake up and see screwed up this situation is?

Wintermester ends today. Spring semester begins Monday. Much work to do. So why not blog?

Again, I have had to wait awhile to post anything here. Computer at home is very down and I couldn't access the net with the laptop I checked out of the library. Oh well.

Have done some writing. Posted today a new story, "The Last Bottle," and two new poems: "Approaching The Hawk" and "The Artist Still." Also started an archive. Pretty soon I will have to take some works off the main pages.

Started a personal essay about Christmas. Maybe I can finish it this weekend. It reads a bit like prose poem. Don't know if I could get it published. Guess it could show up in a book somewhere. Don't know. Got a feeling some people I know will be upset about it anyway. But then again, lots of people that would be don't read what I write. So what am I worried about?

Been pretty busy with Wintermester. Like my class. Didn't give myself enough of a break during the holiday though.

Been reading, of course. Finished Poodle Springs, by Raymond Chandler and Robert B. Parker. I think I read another Parker book (and early one) before that. Have been plowing my way though Amusing Ourselves to Death by Neil Postman. Good, but since I'm taking notes, it is taking me a bit longer. Also started my first P.D. James novel, Devices and Desires (or the other way around). Other stuff too has been read since my last posting, but I'm out of time to write about it for now.

It has been awhile since I posted anything here. The end of the semester got very hectic and now I'm into the second day of Wintermester. I have done some reading and writing in my personal journal. A couple of poems have also been written. I can't remember what I've posted on the web site lately.

I started a new novel a couple of weeks ago and have not been able to get back to it lately. Perhaps I will post the first chapter when it is written. The central character is a college professor (okay, so that's not orginal...give me a break). The case involves an adjunct professor and the student he's sleeping with who is murdered. I have a brief outline of what I want to do. I really thought this might be a story, but already, I think it is going to shape up to be much longer. Probably a short novel.

Problem is finding time to write. Can't do it even at the times I'm alone. Most of my alone time is in the car. Besides, I've been pretty busy with classes. But a couple of times (last Monday, for example) I have had time, but no motivation. Ack!

Today -- for the time being -- I have both. We shall see.

Last weekend I wrote two poems, "Lamp," and "A prayer for focus." I have posted the first, but not the second. I probably will not post the prayer. I guess I like it as, but I fear it is a bit too cliched for publication, except maybe in a religious magazine. Also, it came directly from a quiet time, and so I'm not sure of its literary value. It may be just fine, but I need more distance to get perspective.

Also last weekend, I did not take any school work home. Mostly read. I think I came back from the weekend a bit more refreshed and ready to tackle my students' papers. I'm sure most of them would like to get work back faster, but I want to do a good job reading and responding to them.

I read a Lawerence Block novel, A Dance At The Slaughterhouse, one from his Scudder series. I had read Eight Million Ways To Die a couple days before. Both are very brutal. When I finished Slaughterhouse, I walked around and had to start a new book right away. The book was fine, but its brutality was so great, I didn't want to leave it with me long. Started Tanner On Ice, my first reading from that series. Of course now it is the middle of the week, when reading goes a bit more slowly.

Got my C-PAP machine a couple days ago and already it seems to have had an effect on my reading. I can't see through the dang thing and so reading in bed is nearly impossible. I do think it will help my reading in the long run because I will be more alert and awake. That much I can feel already. Hopefully this will also go a long way into improving me as a writer. Too often I am unable to write or focus clearly because of fatigue. I hope I can look back a year from now and see that my output is greater and better, not only because I can write more, but because I can better concentrate and judge what I do write. This is necessary if I am to revise well at all.

Well, this is a pickle. My kids are disappointed because I am not going trick-or-treating with them. But I got called to sub in the Writing Center at CCCCD and I really need the money. Sure they'll probably understand, if they remember, when they are older. But in the meantime....

Posted a new poem, tentatively titled "Packing Up," a couple of days ago. Still working on the essay. I think with some grace I might finish a draft and post it in a few days. Hopefully before the weekend.

Brad came to visit me at work last night and after chatting with him decided that I have to use my "other" work time to read and write. That means I'll have to work twice as hard at work to make sure I don't bring much home. (Of course tonight I need to finish making a test and I'm doing this instead...go figure.)

When I will find time and energy to try to get my work published, I just don't know.

Need to go for now...duty calls.

Typed and posted the two poems I mentioned yesterday. Titled the sonnet "A Maturing Rain" though I said yesterday that I didn't want to use the word rain in the title. The other poem is called "Through The Drizzle." I'm not too fond of that title either, but it is okay for now. Before the shine of newness wears off, I better try to find a place for them this weekend.

Well, I finally finished the sonnet I started two weeks ago. That is, I finished a draft of it. Don't have a title yet. I started it when I was sitting on the porch a couple of weeks ago watching the rain and waiting for my wife to come home from something. It was raining today and some last weekend, so I guess I kept adding lines as I mused on it. I don't want to put "sonnet" or "rain" in the title. I'm afraid the latter word will keep it from being read because it might seem too cliche, and I don't like to announce when I write a sonnet (or any form piece). I prefer to have the reader discover that as she/he goes along, if at all. I figure if I have written well, it won't matter that the poem is anything but what it is.

While waiting for my World Lit students to finish a group project today, I wrote another poem, a short, so far untitled piece. Part of it is about rain also, but some is about the groping and struggling we do in life. I used some rhyme in this, but it is not a form piece. I guess I am hoping it is a bit jazzy, though it may be too short for that. I am hoping that the rhyme will make it musical, like jazz, but without a sing-songy effect.

Would have posted them to my website tonight, but I forgot the bring home the notepad I wrote them on, so they are not typed up yet. Maybe tomorrow.

Still reading the Block novel. Can't get as much reading done during the week, but if I have to work this weekend, I'm sure I'll finish it then. Trying to keep things I have to grade at work when I can. Maybe that will help me to write a bit more of my own stuff at night. That is, if I can keep away from all the other things that distract me. Go Stars!

We'll see.

Starting to wonder about this writing thing. Been praying that it won't have to be a hobby for the rest of my life. Problem is I can't get to writing consistently. And I am not sure why that is. I could blame it on lots of things: too little energy at the end of the day; too often behind at school; too many hockey games and football games to watch. But the reality is that I just haven't made it enough of a habit as it has been at a few times in my past. Ok, a couple. But it is my life. I need to do this.

Finished reading a pretty good memoir on Monday. It is The Way Home by Henry Dunow. Much of it is about him coaching his son's Little League Baseball team. Much is about his relationship to his own father. I found the story quite interesting and moving in parts. I was struck by the growth he had over the course of the season and by the pain expressed about his father. Maybe I'll write a review of it or maybe just more about it here later.

Started a Lawrence Block book, Eight Million Ways to Die, a Matt Scudder mystery. I'm about 85 or so pages in. Maybe I'll write more about it later.

Back to writing about writing. I have about a half dozen projects in my head and I just can't seem to get going on any of them, even though some are already started. What I need is consistency. That is, I need to consistently write every day. A set amount of time or a set number of words or pages. Something that tells all the doubting little voices in me that this is something I DO, something I AM, not just something I think about and teach when I have the time.

Problem is, I can find the time, but not the same time everyday. And I think that may be what I'll have to do if I want any fruit to come from this.

Have been so behind that I have not been able to do much writing except in my personal journal. And now my home pc is acting up, making it hard to type.

Started a sonnet over 10 days ago. It may take more days to finish than it will have lines.

Yesterday, I was starting to go to the bathroom and once again, at an institution primarily made up of adults, I found myself looking at a toilet that some damn morons had peed all over. All over and all around. This really really upsets me (dare I say, "pisses me off"?). Every time this happens, I want to shout obscenities and write a letter to the editor of the school paper or shoot off an email to the entire school. But I have to be reasonably good.

I did start thinking, "People who do this should be forced to wear a &%^)$#! diaper. And publicly!" Then I decided this was a good idea for an essay. So last night, I started to write. Nothing really organized, but that recommendation and a couple other things. Mostly ramblings to get me started. Got about 250 words. With a bit of grace, I'll do some prewriting and maybe flesh out a bit of a plan today, and if all goes really well, I'll write a real draft.

Would like to write some poetry. Lately every time I have an idea for something, I never get to it. Want also to write a couple of humorous songs. Have an idea about one tentatively titled, "It's not you, It's me" with the speaker using that common phrase to break up with someone, but twisting it around. Maybe a line like, "How were you to know I prefer women with hair?" or "I should have told you that bitching doesn't turn me on." Where is that dang guitar?

There is just not enough time for the cup of coffee in front of me and the Keith Jarrett tape behind me. Well, there is, but I seem to have spent too much of it goofing off. You'd think I'd learn my lesson by now, especially when I'm trying to encourage my own students to avoid things that get in the way of a good, working writing process. Oh well.

Yesterday, I gave up on Merton. Well, sort of. A couple days ago, I was reading the book I had and I realized that despite how wonderfully it edifies me, I wasn't getting anything in, and worse, I didn't really care. I spent all that time and energy on the book and I just gave up. Finally, I turned it in. I did check out another book by Merton, Contemplation in a World of Action, and I read the introduction and the first essay. I hope that I can be a bit more consistent with reading. Reading Merton gives me a strong sense that a kind of solitary, contemplative life is possible even for a guy with five kids and all the other "things" in my life that would seem to pull it apart. I suppose this is where that concept of time comes in. I may have much to do, but I do have more time than I take advantage of.

Of course, I sometimes don't have the energy. Or the will power. I had it, to some degree, in college. And even after college, I could write with some consistency. But lately, I find myself writing and talking about writing (and reading, damn it!) than actually doing it. This has got to stop.

More later. I have to go to class.

Well, I went to two doctors yesterday. One was a sleep specialist. I'll be doing one of those damn sleep studies soon and probably have to wear a freakin' machine on my head. But I am trying to be positive about it. Certainly there is something in all this to write about. An essay? A story? Don't know. I have a lot of anger about this (What else is new?...lol), and much of it is at myself, but I still have some for the medical community in general.

The other visit was to my regular doctor. We seem to agree that I feel better than I did a couple weeks ago and that the sleep study is going to be a good thing. Then I had the blood test. The woman who does this is very good. One hardly feels the prick of the needle. I sat in the chair and looked at a painting on the wall. It was a lake scene. There was a house with a large porch going all the way to the lake. Closer to the viewer was a little bench. Why it was at a lake I don't know, but I don't suppose it matters. I thought about how nice it would be to sit on that bench and look at the water, listening to its soft sounds and to the insects and creatures all around. All this, I think, helped me relax as the nurse drew my blood. I told her that everyone should look at that picture when getting blood, and she replied that most people don't care about paintings when that needle goes in. Oh well.

Classes seem to be going fine. I'm keeping up okay and I really like my students. They seem more energized than ever before. I wonder if that is because I took the summer off and come back much more refreshed (in some senses). Anyway, we have not had any major assignments, so I don't know how well I will keep up. I seem to do some things to reduce my work each semester and then add a couple more. Oh well, I need to get to the library.